How To Be Confident


From the professional whose advice we rely on, to the confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that we all admire and look up to. Confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a destructive cycle where we can get caught up and this can hold us back from being successful.

Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. Gaining the confidence of others is one of the best ways a self-confident person finds even more confidence which leads to even more success.

No matter where you are right now, the good news is that confidence can be learned and developed and closer than you think. As we begin to lower the importance we place on others we can increase our confidence on the way. Believing that we have more to offer can help anyone on this important journey.

Do You Want To Be More Confident?

If you tick yes to any of the below, you will find this blog and other information very useful.

  • Is your behaviour often influenced by what others think and say?
  • Do you hide your mistakes and not like admitting to them?
  • Do you mostly feel like operating within your comfort zone?
  • Do you find it difficult taking compliments form others?
  • Do you avoid taking on new tasks and challenges?
  • Do you wish for more in life?

Any of the above usually means negativity and you are more than likely not leading your life, loving it and living it to your fullest. Before we reach our tips on how to have more confidence let’s make sure we understand what confidence is.

What is Confidence?

Confidence is simply self-esteem.

We gain confidence when we see ourselves mastering the things that matter to us. In this space we are more likely to accept difficult challenges and learn and experience and build further confidence. When things are going on around us we can absorb the setbacks and we also recognise that certain things are beyond our control. We feel competent and we are approaching each step planning to succeed and accepting that we may need to fall occasionally in order to reach success as we define it. We are not overwhelmed with the feeling of, I can’t do this, I don’t feel good enough and we are not likely to give up.

The more we achieve the more self-belief or self-esteem we develop, importantly this is not in the absence of any mistakes and important the resulting learnings along the way..

How Do We Build Confidence

The bad news is that there’s no super quick fix, however the good news is that building confidence is available to everyone who really wants to make a change and it may nt take nearly as much time as you think. It requires you deciding that you have reached a turning point and that you need to apply some effort and do something different, in order to achieve some different results.

For more information on how you can be more confident, more empowered and more happy, Click Here

So here are 13 ways to get you on your journey to being confident.

1. Manage your thoughts well and lead your mind.

We have approximately 60-80,000 thoughts each and every day, the most interesting of which is that most of these remain the same day to day – these thoughts are actually negative. As we worry about these negative thoughts we feel insecure and we begin to feel confused, frustrated, angry and then fearful. Once we feel fearful we are likely to step back and not take any action to what counts in our life.

Our brain is so intelligent however it has a primary purpose to serve and that is to help us survive. The brain reads this false emotion as real yet it is often based on an assumption that sometime in the future there will be more negative than positive outcomes. This fear is most often not justified on facts but emotion and it appears real. An example is the fear of flying. The assumption here is that something will go wrong and you will die however statistically you have more chance of doing this driving a car, yet you do this comfortably every day.

We apply our thoughts a charge and this can be changed, equilibrating these thoughts is the key.


2. Tap into your earliest years, your childhood.

As a child you learned to crawl, it was challenging but you got there. You then wanted to walk and you kept falling however you kept trying. You still kept falling and sometimes it hurt, you may have even cried however deep down you knew that if you persisted you would get there. With each try you received a little more confidence to try it again however you had all the confidence to know to keep going.

You were born not caring one bit of any external judgment, you were concerned only with your own experience and your own needs. Why should this be any different now? We need to know that we all began our lives with all the confidence we needed however some of our life experiences began to shrink this away. In reality in my experience it is all still there however it is buried deep inside us yearning to surface again. If it was yearning in this way we would go on feeling great about not having the confidence we need.

At some point we formed doubts and became concerned about what others thought. At this point perhaps you began to yearn for praise and avoid criticism, maybe you even talks yourself down. When you feel your confidence is low always remember we were all born with it and if you can raise your importance and lower that of others, you can have it all back.

3. Commit to Reverse Engineering.

So many people say I do not know what I want or I do not know what I want to do. Deep inside us however deeply buried, I believe we all know what these are. We might not know the steps to take or have the courage to take these steps, but what If we did?

Everything you need to get done relies on your confidence to get there , knowing you can achieve it. From this point take yourself into the future and let yourself know what you want and come back to the present and find your way to get it done. Work from your end and come back to the beginning and make a start.

Imagine yourself at each step being confident and able, feel the feelings you will have when you accomplish these steps.

4. Choose your gratitude points.

If you are grateful life seems to be cruising and on the way, if you are not grateful life seems to be in the way. We all have good days and bad days, some of us seem to have more bad days. In my experience every day has gratitude points except that we ignore these as we focus and concentrate all our attention on what is going wrong. Instead stop and look in between at every hour of your day, what were the good things no matter how small?

Finish each day being grateful for these and help your mind become balanced so that it can serve you better for your future days. Begin each day in the same way and you will be amazed what this can do for your confidence. You will also be grateful how it can significantly change the mood of your day as well and better than this each day as it has a building effect.

5. Be aware of your comfort zone and plan to step outside.

Most people don’t want to get out of their comfort zone for the obvious reason, it does not feel comfortable. They may feel a little anxious and they prefer to step back in and take shelter. If we look at success and achievement it feels absolutely fantastic yet in all success there is a time of uncertainty where we were not all that comfortable all of the time. This can be considered as expansion rather than anxiety.

Every time you get outside your zone, you learn, you achieve and sure it may all not be easy however in the end you know it was well worth the effort. As now you have expanded the next time, it takes more to make you feel uncomfortable. So , yes it is part of gaining personal power and unlimited confidence. On the contrary you shrink and continue to feel minimised.

6. Work with a coach and mentor.

Whatever you want, whatever you are looking for in your life, it makes sense that you are surrounded by people that are already there and better still, beyond that point. If someone is able to help you with some specialised knowledge it is not likely to be someone in the same position you are in.

Even so, we see so many people listening and asking for ideas from the incorrect source. Find a good role model, this means you find someone that is already modelling the role you want to play in your life. Chances are this will be following your values and your purpose and you will no longer sit back but instead be driven.


For more information on how you can be more confident, by knowing your values and purpose, Click Here


7. Build the trust in you.

Why is trust so important? The reason is that with self-esteem you are a leader of your life. You do not need to be in a position where you know everything to have confidence you simply need to know and trust that you will cope with what comes up along the way. We all have strengths and weaknesses which are built on our values and we need to remind ourselves that this is where we will likely have all our confidence and that is what matters.

If someone praises you accept it and thank them,. If someone criticises you, do exactly the same with one extra bit. Look at the criticism and objectively assess it rather than take it personally.  Is it an opportunity to improve yourself? If it is, why knock back free good advice, remembering we all have areas we can improve and we all have areas we are good at.

Confidence is as much about the future as it is about the present, it can be as much about what you can get done then rather than what you can get done now.


For more information on how you can be more confident, more empowered and more happy, Click Here


8. Calculated risks are ok, so take them.

You may have read this quote,

Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterwards. ~Christopher Kaminski

Learn to have a go and be prepared to learn from the experience, the trial and error approach will eventually bring you confidence. What can go wrong, you want something you don’t have so you can only end up in the same position or better.

9. Ask for help when required.

This can be from your coach/mentor or someone else however choose carefully as your life is way too important. Really tap into what you want and let your coach know, they are in a great position to help you achieve it. Don’t settle on what you believe you can achieve, instead start with if I had all the confidence what would I want to achieve. Small steps get you a big result!

I remember playing small and not having the confidence to try a flying lesson even though since I was a child this was something I always dreamed about. Then one day I decided to play a bigger game and to get some help, 10 lessons later and after reading a few books I had flown solo three times and felt on top of the world.

The confidence I received from this experience helped me in so many other areas!, Unlimited beliefs are worth stretching out for.

10. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses.

Often we do not understand our values and purpose which means we are likely missing our true talent. This means we need to take some time out to think about our strengths and weaknesses. In my experience with so many people, is that they begin with a few weaknesses and a few strengths only to end up with not many more weaknesses but a lot more strengths. To me, this means we are likely to be more in tune with our weaknesses than our strengths which can definitely paly on our confidence.

So identify at least 50 strengths and don’t hold back and look in all areas of life such as social, financial, family, knowledge, career, relationships, health, physical etc

Reading these often until you have them committed to memory is a great way to boost your confidence!

11. Know success follows some failure and expect success.

Failure , failure, success, failure, failure, failure, success, failure, failure, success, success……This would not be an unfamiliar pattern in building anyone’s confidence and honestly this is real success. In time the amount of success builds and the amount of failure may decrease however failure is still part of success overall.

Expecting to succeed without failure is failure in itself. This is a sure way to fail at anything you wish for. Confidence comes from success but you must accept that here will be some failure along the way. Learn to notice the success in each day and you will have more success and confidence in the future.

This is very likely to influence your thoughts and feelings allowing you new results and new confidence.

12. Reduce the fear of the unknown.

Everything that is not a mystery is history. Mystery and the unknown can be one of the most exciting things to take on, think of all the great inventions and success stories in history and what might have occurred if there was a fear around the unknown. Where would we be today? What would we have?

We all need to remember that we can only control what is within our control and this is the same for all of us. Often the bumps along your success and confidence journey have nothing to do with what you did or should have done. If you did your best you should be confident about this.

13. Remember to exercise and breathe.

Exercise releases endorphins in our bodies which allows us to feel great in challenging situations. Our brain loves this as we are less likely to fall for unlimited beliefs and self –doubt. We are more likely to feel more positive and balanced. It is very possible that each day will have its equal amounts of supports and challenges and exercise prevents you from fooling yourself and feeling  that the challenges were greater.

Breathe slowly and deeply and you will fill your brain with oxygen which makes you aware and awake. Breathe frequent and shallow as you do in fear and you will be compromised and less powerful. Learn to relax often and practice your breathing, if you do it often enough it will become your norm and allow you more success as well as keep your body and mind healthy.

For more information on how you can be more confident, more empowered and more happy, Click Here

For more information on how you can be more confident, by knowing your values and purpose, Click Here