My anger really gets in my way, how can I control it?
If this is you, do not feel alone as anger is a very common emotion. Anger is related to our past experiences and how we perceive these experiences. If our experience is remembered as a bad one it is more likely going to cause us anger some time in the future and often repeatedly, on and off. Anger can also be caused as we do not agree with someone else. This usually is due to the fact that we place a different value on different things. What this means is that we can easily be in a position where we do not agree with someone or they don’t agree with us. All of us get angry. Some of us get angry very often. Some of us are able to control the anger. Some of us express our anger freely, whereas some of us also suppress it. Is there any way to control the anger? And if so how do we do that? There are several ways to address this in our personal development and some take more tima than others, however lets look at some. We often get angry when someone stops us form doing something or when we don't get our way. We get angry when our desires or needs are not fulfilled, or when people don't agree to our viewpoint. Many times we get angry when we find our views at great variance with others and are not able to understand the other viewpoint and disagree with that as already mentioned. A great activity to help us understand, can be a simple one. List your friends and think about a situation and imagine the reactions of each friend. For example, let us say that the situation is this - your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on his/her lap unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from all your friends on your list. You will find reactions that will vary quite a bit. You will see a friend of yours laughing it off and another friend calling the manager and making a big scene. You may even see another friend being so understanding, that even you may be surprised. The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently. How and why does this happen? Some of us never take things very seriously. So these friends don't get angry over small things at all. That is the nature of these people. Often these people prefer to deal with bigger plans and bigger dreams so the smaller things are not given us much energy. Can we use any techniques to control anger? Let us take a look. Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those of us who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better. Why not count up to ten before reacting? Understanding others viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your boss is angry with you, you don’t have to react immediately. Give this some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his or her anger. This can also apply to your partner in your relationship. If at the end you realise that the anger was totally unjustified, you chose not to react angrily. Emotions such as anger can be controlled. It needs reflection. It needs practice to exercise restraint and the more you do this the easier it becomes as you see results in yourself. Often we are punished by our anger not for our anger, as we later feel guilty for our actions. Winning over your anger will allow you to be the real you, a better person. Controlling your anger means it does not control you. If anger is a problem for you and you would like to discover more on how to overcome this, CLICK HERE for further information.
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